Friends

Can you live without your friends company? I know I can't. I value them (keep repeating this, hope they believe me) terribly. They are the foundation of my sanity. To not have at least 1 would, sooner or later, drive me mad. I don't know why. I just like being with the company of my friends. I know minsan (este, palagi pala) eh pamwisit ako, but you know, some unknown, indecipherable force drives me to make friends. Hopefully developing a relationship so intimate as was with my friends in the country I have fled (because of crap you already know of).
I have noticed my mood when I am not with them. When I haven't talk to them for a day, I feel miserable. My logic is affected and distracted by evil thoughts and schemes so unbearably inhumane. I feel so lonely, so alone. I brand myself "the lonely wolf". I know I'm not as outgoing or as spontaneuos as some of my friends are but the truth is I love their company. Though they may see me as extensively quiet during conversations or feel that I may not really take them seriously (though rarely, mut've misjudged, a common mhuman mistake), they're wrong. SO wrong.
I don't know. I just love the notion of someone being there with you to whom you can share your deepest secret. Someone who wouldn't laugh at you or shut you up. I once knew someone like that. But ironically and painfully, I have to leave her in the Philippines. I'll come back and find you. And while I'm waiting, I'll pray you won't change. . .