Neutral

I feel nothing when asked what do I feel now that I would be living in Canada. It is because I do NOT know what to think. I feel excited, worried, sad, happy, cursing, tired, an all those, that when combined, just makes me go nuts.
I feel excited because I see it as a new adventure, a new chapter, another story about to unfold. I think of it as another “adventure”, an adventure for the longing for peace, security, and equality our country never offered.
I don’t know exactly what to expect or see in there. The feeling of doubt and uncertainty just devours me slowly. I know it will dissipate sometime in the past but this is unavoidable. You never know. That is uncharted, unknown, untouched territories for me, you understand?
I’m extremely sad to leave my friends here. The friends whom I had trusted and whom have trusted me. Friendship established and strengthened gradually by time. They know that I value them dearly and I hope that they too value me.
I’m happy to leave this hell that was once one of the great tiger economies. The once well-respected country of the Philippines, the pioneers of abdication without bloodshed. The first country who fought for their freedom against selfish colonizers. Yes, good times! Those events are now non-existent in the foreigner’s eyes. We are now the “Caregiver’s Capital” and yah, “Hello Garci Country”.
Cursing of what we are now and what we were before. It brings me to tears just thinking about it. Enough said!
Tired of déjà vu. Can you not see that history is just repeating itself?!? YUP! We never learn.All these thoughts drown my friend to confusion so I chose not to think of it, until now, writing this.